Bumper Sticker: "Keep Dallas Square"

"Dallas may tighten up rules on slack pants"

Been thinking of taking that promising new job in Dallas, TX? If you have a teenage son, you may want to think twice...

Deputy Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway, a member of the Dallas City Council, is considering a proposal for a city ordinance that would fine people who are seen in public wearing "saggy pants." Are you wondering if you read correctly? That's right, it could potentially be ILLEGAL to wear "pants that fall below the waist and expose skin or underwear."

I'm not saying that I embrace the strange trend, but if thong-bikinis are allowed at public beaches, why on earth would it be a finable-offense to wear your pants so low that you might expose an ugly pair of boxer shorts? Maybe big hair should have been banned in the 80's-God knows nobody liked looking at that! And the "exposing skin" issue is moot, since there are already laws that prohibit indecent exposure. Have these folks forgotten about a little piece of paper called the U.S Bill of Rights? I'm pretty sure that there's a clause in there, called the FIRST AMENDMENT, which protects freedom of speech, freedom of expression? Please, correct me if I am wrong...

The argument gets even better, in case you were wondering exactly how these thoughtful individuals have been able to make sense of their proposal. Here's the logic; the Dallas city councilman says he wants to protect people "who don't want to see someone else's private parts," while at the same time "helping young adults improve their self-image." Maybe we should also ban low-cut blouses? But maybe those are "socially acceptable" private parts....yea, that makes sense.

Another supporter of this ordinance was quoted as saying, "...we also have a right to try to teach and nurture our young individuals (about) what it takes to make it and be successful." WHAT???? Are you outraged yet? I am!! So what, exactly, are we teaching our young people? Success is measured on a cookie-cutter scale? In order to have a strong "self-image" you should dress and think like the main-stream politician, or maybe like their teenage sons? I guess "successful people" aren't swayed by fashion or trends, at least not the poor-folk kind. Can someone explain the time I saw my high-school principal at a concert dressed like an early-90's rock star? She still showed up in a three-piece suit, frown in tow, bright and early Monday morning. Maybe her PhD didn't teach her what "success" is really all about; what you wear in public.

I've actually spoken to some saggy-pant-wearers, and some of them actually believe themselves to be making an artistic, or even political statement by choosing to wear their pants so low. Many choose to dress this way because it is a way that they identify with their cohorts. Maybe it's a fashion issue, a fleeting trend...why is this any of the governments business? What's next? Will people be fined for exposing tattoos? Will your 15-year old teenage daughter have to forfeit her weekly allowance to cover a fine she was issued for exposing her recently-died-pink, crazy-lookin' head of hair? Will your Muslim neighbors be fined for wearing headscarves, or your Jewish neighbors be asked not to wear a Star of David pendant around their necks at a public school?

All that such a city ordinance would do is perpetuate discrimination and probably further the profiling of young minorities who tend to embrace "saggy pants" in the greatest numbers. To enact such a city ordinance would be nothing short of a clear violation of the first amendment right to freedom of expression, and would probably result in a series of appeals that my tax dollars would inevitably fund. My verdict? Stay in Austin, where "weirdness" equates with our success! Oh yea...and write those idiots a letter! They say they're "waiting to hear from the public" before they move forward to push for the ordinance. Ignorance and discrimination have the tendency of spreading like wildfire, and Dallas is only a few hours up the highway. Let your voice be heard before trousers become mandatory under local law!

Happy reading and ranting!

~Jacqueline